Today I found out through one of his best friends that a lot of the more “well known” girls in my grade want to get with him and I honestly know that when he retains that information he’s going to be one big explosion of cocky irritableness and I’ll probably resort to stabbing him with a spoon. I don’t even get why my mind is still in the slightest bit fixated on him. He’s not as great as I used to think he’s not even special at all I don’t know why people gravitate toward him he looks like a donkeys ass and acts like one too he’s an awful person as well but I guess it’s because the exposure to men in my life is slim to none I mean I’ve had my fair share of friendly encounters but in the end I’ve been flying solo since even before the wombs days honestly I’ve always thought it was because I’m fat and ugly which I still think it is but I know also what contributes is my lack of proper social skills (lying it’s all of my skills and personality) how I can’t not feel awkward or uncomfortable or stupid or just I don’t know bazaar? It’s difficult to get someone to like you let me tell you but once I like someone I honestly stick on them till I find something else but he doesn’t even talk to me and to be truthful why would I want him to. He’d probably just make me feel more awkward. I need confidence and a nice body I mean I’m working on the nice body that’s a slow gradual process I can’t rush that honestly though I’m just really hoping that like my goals are achieved soon and maybe even meet a nice boy and go to a few parties and ghetties I wish I went to one of my friends ghetty the other day but it was the day I got my vaccinations so I was all kinds of in pain and sick. I don’t even know whatever this is lame I’m lame I’m sorry for disrupting your scrolling.
SO GUYS IM GONNA BACK TO TALK ABOUT MY CRUSHES OK ITS THERAPEUTIC HERE I GO
NOT THAT ANYONE CARES